Got to share some jokes with you!!! :D

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually he didn't even know the differences of the male and female anatomy).
Aminah got tired of waiting, took off all her clothes one night and lied on the bed. Ali was shocked seeing a naked Aminah. He was more shocked that Aminah had lost her penis.

Ali contacted his neighbour, a doctor.
"Please fix it back for her!!!
Mesti jahit betul betul!!! (Must sew properly!!!)
The doctor asked to be alone with Aminah, took advantage of the situation and had his rounds of fun with Aminah.

After the doctor leaves, Ali enters the room again and found the penis still unattached.
He touched where the penis is supposed to be affixed and felt something sticky.

"Celaka punya doktor, saya suruh dia jahit dia taruh gam!!!
(The bastard doctor, ask him do sewing, he go and put glue!!!)

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Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing the dishes. As John was playing she could hear her son saying "come on all you ass-holes get off the fuck'n airplane we've
got a schedule to keep. All right all you cock suckers get on the airplane and sit the fuck down we're taking off in two minutes." When Johns mother hear this she went outside and told John to go to his bedroom because he was grounded for 2 hours. 2 hours later Johns mother came into his bedroom and told him if he could play nice he wasn't grounded anymore. So John when back outside to play with his airplane "OK all you nice people please hurry off the airplane we have to leave on time, thank you" "All right all you wonderful passengers please get on the airplane we have to leave in 2 minutes, thank you." "And all you people in back complaining about the 2 hour delay see the bitch in the kitchen".

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This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.

This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious! This is an encounter of friend's friend's friend (so don't know how true, but quite funny) ...........................................

The male colleague had just boarded the train at Orchard MRT Station. He found a seat facing a woman and her 5 year old son (estimated). He soon realised that the boy was pestering his mum to bring him to the toilet.

His mum whispered to him to hold on until Bugis station. He reluctantly obeyed. After another station, he started begging to visit the loo again. At raised voice, his mum commanded to sit and behave himself. He sheepishly sat down but could only hold on for another station before springing up to announce that he was going to pee on the ground if not taken to the toilet immediately. Completely annoyed, his mum threatened to give him a spank.

Needless to say, all eyes were upon them by now. How can a woman be that tough on a little child? Unable to hold on any longer, the boy suggested in Mandarin, "Mummy, you open your mouth and let me shi shi (Pee/Urine) inside", Mum said, "don't talk nonsense, or I'll really smack you"

Boy said, "why daddy can, I cannot!!!???"Ma,"..!!!....."

She alighted at the next stop.

Right, 3 riddles first... Still got more.. xD